A Boy and His Blob Is Coming Out Next Month
And you should totally buy it.
Everybody seems to remember A Boy and His Blob, and for good reason. It was clever, fun, creative, and also you could repeatedly punish a gentle, benign creature by throwing ketchup-flavored jellybeans at him. I’ve heard many people call for a sequel to it, and that’s certainly a movement I can get behind, but people tend to ignore that there already was a sequel to it, The Rescue of Princess Blobette. That’s probably because it wasn’t nearly as good. Also, as odd as this is for a relatively obscure, somewhat bizarre NES game, additionally sequels have been attempted twice, first for the GBA and then again for the DS, with both attempts failing because Majesco was unable to properly fund them. Fortunately, this time the sequel is done, marketed, and set for release on the Wii October 13th.
There isn’t a whole lot of information out yet, but I can say I’m already planning to buy the game. I didn’t really play the original game quite as much as others seem to have, but I enjoyed it, and moreover, even if I didn’t, the game is absolutely gorgeous, easily the best-looking 2D game I’ve seen in recent years. Just look at this trailer:
Now, let me get one thing straight: I hate people who are concerned at all with graphics. They simply don’t matter at all beyond simple aesthetic pleasure, and while great graphics can be the icing on the cake for a really fun game, they don’t have anything to do with making a game good. That said, I would almost buy this game based on the visual style and animation alone. Honestly, I wouldn’t even have to play it, I could just watch someone play it and get more enjoyment out of it than I did out of most games released last year combined. I get the same thrill out of it that I do out of watching a really well-animated film, like The Iron Giant or anything by Miyazaki. I’m incredibly impressed.
It also doesn’t hurt that the game looks really really fun. I think this is going to be a really, really special release, so everybody go buy it October 13th. Also, even though I am utterly opposed to the dumbass preorder system Gamestop profits so much off of, I am willing to completely violate my principles in order to get this:
Just seeing that warms even my black heart.
Fuck yeah, APB
It’s no big secret that I love sandbox games. I wish it was a secret, because to a hardcore gamer such as myself, adoring such games is tantamount to treason, indicating a commonality with those casual gamers and 13-year-olds who are just so beneath me and my more refined tastes. What’s next, enjoying a NASCAR game? This patrician view of gaming tiers really doesn’t mean anything, though, so I admit it; I absolutely love sandbox games. Good ones, like San Andreas and Saints Row. Note that GTAIV isn’t in that list. Reviews be dammed, the game really isn’t that good. As I’m sure I’ve said before, the game world seems incredible to a non-player, but once you actually jump in and play it, it gets kind of tedious having to drive for 30 minutes, in real-time, every time you fail a mission, which happens a lot, because the cars in the game control like the tires are made of banana peels coated in Astroglide. That said, the multiplayer was absolutely amazing. Even in Free Ride mode, where there are no real objectives, it never gets boring.
This is why I’m excited about APB; it looks like it’s pretty much a massive version of the GTAIV multiplayer. Developed by my heroes at Realtime Worlds (responsible for the original GTA series, Lemmings, and Crackdown, which I have espoused the joys of before), APB looks like it will be the MMO that finally gets me hooked. Assuming, of course, that I can play it; the game is currently slated for release on the PC and the Xbox 360, but only the PC version has an actual release date. Perhaps this would be a good time to ask you folks to buy me a video card. And throw in some RAM, while you’re at it.
Additionally, there are beta signups available on the APB website. Someone sign up and tell me how it is. Then invite me to your house and let me play it.
Steve Purcell + Monkey Island + Poster = Hell Yes
One can obtain a poster, drawn by Steve Purcell (legendary Lucasarts artist and creator of Sam & Max), featuring characters and settings from Monkey Island, if indeed that is what one is into. I can assure you, one is definitely into that. For an extra $5 you can even get it signed by the artist!
(Telltale Games, via Kotaku, as usual)
Before I even had a chance to contemplate selling blood in order to afford it, Chronicle Books has cancelled plans to release a Mega Man history book. I don’t know what this book would have consisted of, I just know I would have bought 100 copies of it. Even though I already know most of the history of Mega Man, this no doubt would have included plenty of pretty pictures, and I will never, ever get tired of staring at sprites from this series.
(GoNintendo, via Kotaku)
Capcom Babies. For the first time, I am jealous of infants.
Oh my Jesus.
Look at these.
I am going to go produce 1 baby and dress it in nothing but these onesies until they will no longer fit.
Unfortunately these don’t seem to be for sale. Tragic. I had almost talked the wife into the whole pregnancy thing.
New Company Creates Generic Football Game, Expects to Topple Madden
A new company, Quick Hit Football, believes their new generic football game will be a huge success in the face of Madden, the monolithic, totalitarian ruling party of the football game market. Protip, guys: If you name your company after one game, you probably aren’t going to be successful.
The game really isn’t a bad idea at all, a combination of a sports MMO and a fantasy football league. I’m not a big follower of football (though I have been known to attend a UT Vols party now and then), or football games (other than Tecmo Bowl, the Greatest Sports Game Ever (TM)) but honestly, I’m intrigued enough to give it a try as soon as I get a chance, especially since finding out that Quick Hit Director of Design Brandon Justice is a former member of Visual Concepts, who you may remember as being responsible for every great sports game to come out since 2000, I.E. the 2K series.
That said, the most glaring problem with the game is that it is attempting to be a fantasy football game with generic players. Obviously, the target market is going to be football fans, many of whom have been known to become as obsessive with fantasy football as MMO players are with their drug of choice, so the idea of combining an actual playable game with the management and coaching features of fantasy leagues is genius, albeit a certain, obvious kind of genius. The problem comes with the fact that a big part of why people participate in fantasy leagues is that it adds an extra element to keeping up with real life football. Who’s going to follow a league full of imaginary players? Very few real football fans, I’d wager.
Quick Hit Football CEO Jeff Anderson says that his company performed studies of males aged 18-40 to determine if the presence of current NFL players is really necessary, and he says that the results were better than he thought, but he refuses to give an actual percentage of how many thought the license was needed. I think it’s also notable that the actual survey questions used weren’t quoted; if someone asked me “Is the NFL license necessary to making a good football video game?” I would of course answer no, but if I knew that the game revolved around fantasy football elements, that would completely change my answer. I’m not going to really care about how the Portland Marauders are doing, much less attempt to follow the career of their quarterback Steven Fong. And this coming from a man who followed the entire acting career of Johnny Cage.
Despite the obvious problems with attempting to get a football fan to follow the career of someone he’s not only never heard of, but who doesn’t even exist, I think there’s potential for success here, if not with casual gaming football fans, than perhaps with an actual hardcore audience. Madden obviously has a much bigger reach than the casual market, and even if we won’t admit it, I know plenty of nerds secretly enjoy sports games. Marketed properly and handled with care, this could be a huge hit.
(original story from Kotaku)
Today is Updating Madness Day
To paraphrase Yngwie J. Malmsteen, I’m about to unleash the fockin’ fury. I’ve started school recently, and getting up way earlier than I’m used to has resulted in me having a ridiculous amount of pent-up energy that I have no way of getting rid of but to write. So, I’m going to write a ton of shit today (this being comparative to my usual output, so this may only be a few posts). So… here that goes.
Le Twittre
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have succumbed to the pressures of this modern world and have created a Twitter account for this website.
www.twitter.com/catchynamenews
Feel free to track, or follow, as the jargon goes, updates made on the site from there. Additionally, I’m going to try to post something daily, because I have a lot of energy and nowhere to put it currently. Well… I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.
That is all.
Thank You Sega.
NOTE: I don’t really have anything funny to say here, and my writing is all over the place because I’m incredibly stressed and running on a mere hour of sleep. I’ll probably end up waking up tomorrow and deleting this post because it’s terrible, so make sure to read it while you can.
Sega just announced (and by “just” I mean a week ago) that they’re releasing a new Sonic game which, god willing, will actually be a Sonic game, rather than a furry-pandering circle-jerk. It’s 2D, HD, and fast… kind of like this was a year and a half ago. Nonetheless, I am totally hot for the idea of a new well-made 2D Sonic game. Honestly, I’m just as hot for the idea of a well-made 3D Sonic game, like the original Sonic Adventure; it’s just that in 10 years Sega has repeatedly proved themselves completely unable to deliver on that front. Hell, even Sonic Adventure 2 wasn’t very good (mainly because it was Tails and Knuckles Shitty, Stupid Adventure, and not really Sonic Adventure).
But, hopefully, all that is about to change. Sega has finally, FINALLY admitted that the Sonic games have basically been shitty lately.
I’d like to take a second to note that I feel bad about linking to Destructoid. I hate them so much, mostly due to their ridiculous tendency to make ultimate, total, and obviously incorrect statements. For example, in this article when they state that Sonic’s credibility is finished, which will likely be fixed by this game, and also in this article when they state that “the destruction of Sonic’s legacy is currently making them money, and why would they stop that?” The answer to that question is because it fucking isn’t making them money, and that attempting to cash in on the 2D games is the only way they’re making money. God I fucking hate Destructoid for that exact reason. They’re the Fox News of gaming journalism. Ugh. My writing is terrible today. Random tirade over.
So, with this admission, not only is Sega admitting that the major underlying problem with the new Sonic games is that they suck, they’re also completely caving to my worldview, namely that older games are infinitely better the newer games. Hopefully other industries will follow, and we’ll start seeing Surge and Pop Quiz Popcorn hit the stores again.
So, I guess that’s all I really had to say. Thank you, Sega, for recognizing and admitting this terrible problem you have. Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery. Don’t worry about coming to the party I was throwing for you. It was just an intervention.
Sorry Again.
Yet again, I’m going on a brief hiatus. I have no internets, and until I get to go to the internet store and buy another bucket of internets I won’t be able to update. Sorry. It’s not that big of a deal, though, it’s not like my usual topics are going to somehow have become more out-of-date than they already are. Duck Hunt will still be decades old when I come back, it’s been 24 years, what’s another couple of months?
