An Interview with Myself, Concerning my New Facebook Page.
- Good evening! I can’t help but notice you’re quite handsome.
- Thank you, I hear that in every interview.
- I see why! So, this “Facebook.” What the hell is it?
- Well, it’s a social networking site that brutally violates your privacy.
- I see. Well-
- Seriously, it just, like, REAMS your privacy. It sees your privacy at the bar, and it’s like, “Man, I want some of that sweet advertising action.” So it hits on your privacy all night and it keeps turning Facebook down, so it drugs your privacy’s drink, takes it home, rapes it, and steals all of its identifiable information and sells it to its advertiser friends. Then it-
- Right, right. If it’s that bad, though, why are you on it?
- I love money. Like, a lot. And I’d like to have some of it. Plus, I could use the exposure to make myself more popular, thereby building my demagogue up enough to form a militia and… well, you know.
- That’s a great idea! I think everyone should follow your every word and start stockpiling weapons to use in your name! So what kind of content can we expect on this Facebook page?
- Well, you should be able to find most of the content from my Twitter page. Redundancy is key to social media. Also, you’ll see various updates and messages from me from time to time, plus you’ll be able to interact with me directly!
- Like your users already can via email, comments, Twitter, and instant messaging?
- Why am I trying to sabotage myself via this interview?
- Because of your crippling mental disabilities that leave you arguing with yourself on the internet!
- Right! I had forgotten about that already. Go to the new page!
